April 27, 2012

__Life__

I know right, my bloggie been abandoned like centuries.
imma irresponsible and selfish owner who only pour out all my feeling at here whenever i met with dificulties and erm sad case?

What kind of feeling should I having now?
Sad? Angry? or fed up?
I think...I need a strong shoulder for me right now.

Everything happen within a blink of eye.
I was the last person to know as always.
Sometimes, I just hope that I born without determination . At least I will live happier without knowing any cruel facts about reality life.
Do u believe in woman's sixth sense?
Hell yeah, many real facts proved the accuracy of it.
IM SICK OF IT! *YELLING FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART

The one who I trusted the most, the one who i wanted to protect the most, the one who makes me believe that there is a true friend here is the one who trying to hide everything from me, the only me.

I was stupid enough to wait for the day, the day 'the one' is willing to tell me the truth eventho I knew it pretty early ago. I wished 'the one' is treats me as a good friend as I do, and I was comforting myself that maybe its not the time yet for revealing the truth. So I wait. I was waiting and waiting and waiting until I was told by those who knew it earlier than me. What a dramatic life huh? *smile is the best way to avoid any question.

Do u know how pain is it when being fool like this? How hurt when ur friend treat u as a dumb idiot . How the feeling when u know ur friend never put his/her faith on u, scare of u and u actually knew everything still  pretending like u dont give it a damn? How stupid when u still putting hope on him/her and waiting the day he/she to take the initiative telling u all what was happening. Conclusion from all the points, u are not a good friend can rely on. Understood.
Pathetic life they named.



Sometimes, just dont know how to face it. I pray. I pray hard to almighty God. I need the strength to face all the hypocrite and double-faced ppl.

My close friends are know me well. They knw I hardly show a smiley face to those who double-faced. Its disgusting for me to act like that, act like a kind and innocent ppl to keep a smile for those who dont deserve it. But the reality told me to change this view of life, ppl will not unseal ur outer and look into ur inner . Everyone loves the cover of the book more. yeah, this is life isnt it?
We cant just sit and keep on complaining how cruel and how reality the life is, what we gonna do is follow the footstep.

As I always say, I learn alot here. I meant it. 
How a so-called-friend trying to get close with u just want to grab some advantages from u, how ur classmates fooling u in order to get higher marks. I think everyone experienced too right?
Hurt? Sad? 
For me, I will keep moving on. 

I was a little girl who couldnt be alone all the time. I needed a companion wherever I go,  toilet or office to find teacher when I was in secondary. Im glad that I learn how to independent after coming here.
The first time I took flight myself, the first time I walked alone along the long and dark corridor in night to go for night class, the first time I walked alone to buy myself dinner.
The first time I took prebek (taxi) alone to go airport was the first sad experience I had.
When I trying to do all my stuff on my own, ppl will say that I dont know how to appreciate what they have  done on me. The words hurt me, indeed. If u wanted to help me sincerely, U would not show out those words but encourage . Not dump me like that, like I had did such huge fault.

Disappointment always by my side.

Thanks God for giving me a caring family, bf and close friends who care me alot, far away from here. They call and text me when they saw me post bout emo status. Haha they are cute and never fail to cheer me up. I love them, like..SO MUCH!

Earth still rotating. Everything gonna be fine, I tell myself everytime. A big =) will do .

Peace ! ^^ Y



World just too small. A  friend, Anna who I met in web 1year ago is now classmate with my  friend.
We never meet each other before. But , I apprecite this friendship.
She used to tell me her sadness. And I  feel so helpless coz I cant help her anything, but only advise her.
Hey,Anna everything gonna be fine k?
All the best ! Love U.xoxo

And I revceived a msg from one of my classmate after we quarreled in class ytd.
He is stress and emotional. Like a bomb. Explode anytime. 
So, ytd I was the one who exploded him. Finally.
He apologised with me. And told me his situation, his problem. 
Felt warm . This shown that he appreciate our friendship and don let it sink into deep hole.



Pray  is works.
I know Jesus loves me.




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